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September 01 2016

Don't tweet Green Day about September

dontpanickilljoys:

Don’t do it

Just don’t

That song is about Billie Joe Armstrong’s deceased father

Don’t be an ass

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looking up 'ear hats' on tumblr Tags

little-town:

what i wanted

image

what i found

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The Best Worst Phone Call

thewittiestpartition:

copperbadge:

paxfelis:

clockways:

copperbadge:

911 Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Me: There’s a guy in a car here with a lady who’s really sick in the backseat, she drank something bad, he’s trying to find a hospital so I told him I’d call 911.
911 Operator: We’re sending an ambulance to your location.
Me: Also everyone around me is acting really weird, I think there might be a gas leak of some kind. 
911 Operator: A gas leak?
Me: I’m outside but nobody seems to know why they’re doing what they’re doing and it’s all really irrational, something’s messed up.
911 Operator: Ah, I see. Just checking here, sir, I see you’re calling from a dream phone. You’re having a dream.
Me: What.
911 Operator: I recommend you wake up, it will solve all these problems for everyone.
Me: But I –
Me: *wakes up in bed*
Me: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. 

Thank you, Dream 911 Operator, for determining the issue so efficiently. 

I sure am glad I had my Dream Phone with me.

The dreamers who listened- who woke up and woke up quickly- were really the easiest to deal with. Other than some weird memories or lingering fear those dreamers woke with no damage and usually whole. A good operator could often force this quick wake up to happen even when the dreamer didn’t want it or didn’t understand. They had a special force of will that they could put into their voice. (It was one of the things looked for interviews..)

But sometimes things went wrong and the dreamer wouldn’t wake. Perhaps the operator wasn’t up to snuff or was having an off day. Perhaps the dreamer was simply stronger. Perhaps the dream was simply stronger. When this happened they had to send someone in ti break the dream from the inside before it could grow too powerful. If they were lucky the dreamer would stay on the phone long enough to get a mental location to trace. If they were lucky they could break the fledgling reality before any harm was done and send the dreamer (or bad cases dreamers) back safely.

The very worst though, was when the person did wake but slowly- messily. The dream bleeding just enough into the waking world for them to bring something back. Sometimes an operator could tell this happened and try to trace that half asleep state to a physical location to have it dealt with. When they weren’t so lucky- when the operator thought the dreamer had woken up just fine.. well that’s when things got… messy.

Sometimes, if an operator realized quickly enough that a dreamer wouldn’t wake or a dream was too strong, there were emergency measures.  One of the simplest was an overwhelming urge to pee, and that usually did the trick.  Muscle cramps also worked, but operators were instructed to save those for an emergency measure.

More complicated, but often more effective, was casting around for other dreamers in close proximity and affecting them.  Crying children or random thrashing resulting in a kick or a flung arm was enough to move the dreamer to a different dream even if they didn’t wake.  

Particularly strong or talented operators could sometimes alert a nearby animal.  A dog licking a dreamer’s face almost never failed to shift or break a dream.

In case of a messy wakening the Feline Alternate Technical Consciousness Adjustment Team does the best they can to keep very close track of any escapees to the waking world.  

Oh my god you guys, I thought I had reblogged this and it turns out I just put it in drafts, THIS IS AWESOME, thank you for augmenting my reality :D

FATCAT I’m dying XD

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cashmerethoughtsss:

strugglingtobeheard:

jamaicanfemmefatale:

postwhitesociety:

highvoodoopussypope:

cuppycakeermk:

this moment was so sad.

black girls are human beings

man i used to really not like her. tumblr showed me the way

I felt that last comment

black girls are vulnerable. we have feelings. we dont always care what others think, but what they say can have an affect on us. no one wants to let us live. i can only imagine if my words were on a scale as large as hers, how difficult it would be.

She’s always bashed, criticized, made fun of, and her words and sentiments are almost always dismissed. People look at her and don’t take her seriously and it’s completely unfair. 

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evergreenring:

GloZell shows why cultural representation is so important (x)

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brujoria:

indignantkurd:

nudewaldo:

biculturalist:

indignantkurd:

“Just divorced the son of a bitch” oh my god

Power

Is that an accurate translation?

Actually, a better translation would be “just divorced the son of a dog” (supposed to be an insult towards the guy and his father) lmao but yes it’s accurate.

◕‿◕

just-shower-thoughts:

I may not be 2016 healthy, but I’m 1816 healthy.

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applespine:

airyairyquitecontrary:

squeakykins:

das-uberchicken:

worksofwalt:

Okay. So there’s a theory out there about this movie that I’m going to throw out to you all. I’m not sure I agree with it, but at the same time, I’m not sure I don’t. It really makes a lot of sense if you think about it, but I fairly confident it was not a planned story by the creators of the movie. But it certainly fits. So here goes.

The Great Stone Dragon is featured three times in the movie: First, Mulan stands beside the statue when she sings about how she wishes her outside would match her inside, and that her actions and appearances were in line with her inner character. Second, Mulan sits on the base of the statue watching her father pass his final night before going off to war, it is here that she makes her decision to take his place. And the third time is when the ancestors attempt – and fail – to awaken the spirit.

So why does the statue crumble? Because it’s empty. Because the spirit of the Great Stone Dragon has already awakened and given Mulan the strength she needed to make her decision and go to war in her father’s stead. Mulan woke the dragon (calm down, Viserys) when she sang ‘Reflection’ beside him, and he gave her his spirit when she sat in the rain watching her father, passing to her all of the strength of the Great Stone Dragon. So when the ancestors try to wake him, he’s already gone.

Anyway that’s the theory. As I said, I don’t know that I buy into it, but it certainly makes a lot of sense. 

My childhood just got more beautiful

I’d always wondered why it didn’t work! Honestly this theory makes perfect sense. The spirit wasn’t there to talk her OUT of going to war, it was there to give her the strength and courage to do it in the first place.

And it means that the statue wasn’t a DUD, the ancestors just didn’t understand how it worked.

so you’re saying Mulan has the literal spirit of a dragon

cornflakepizza:

iraniandiaspora:

newwavenova:

stupiduglyfatcunt:

fatbisexualpenguin:

People who say bi erasure doesn’t happen need to realize Freddie Mercury is known as the most famous homosexual man when he identified himself as bisexual. If that’s not bi erasure I don’t even know.

Also PoC erasure, most people don’t know he was 100% Indian

Specifically he was Parsi.
Also raised Zeroastrian.

*zoroastrian 

babyfairy:

me in august: wow i can’t wait for autumn and winter!

me in the dead of winter when my depression is at an all time high: 

vauxhallandi:

demon-anti:

vauxhallandi:

it’s 2016, callout culture has gone on for more than long enough now, let it die, it’s time

callout for this post wtf is “callout culture”

callout culture is falling out with someone and digging through their archive to compile a list of things they said five years ago to turn total strangers against them

callout culture is reblogging a callout post for a total stranger made by a total stranger out of a misplaced sense of moral righteousness

callout culture is overusing the word ‘problematic’ to the point where saying something out of ignorance thirty years ago is placed on the same level as assaulting children

callout culture is expecting people to disclose deeply personal information pertaining to their mental health, experience of abuse and other incredibly sensitive subjects before engaging in a discussion with total strangers

callout culture is bombarding people with accusatory messages as soon as a celebrity or tv show they like fucks up, as if it was their fault or they can do anything about it and as if it’s possible for anyone or anything to be perfect enough to be deemed worthy of fandom by those standards

callout culture is refusing to give people room to fuck up and then grow and learn and to acknowledge that people and media mean a lot to people for an enormous variety of reasons and expecting people to be able to (and to want to) just cut all emotional ties they have with something or someone when they fuck up is unreasonable and unrealistic

callout culture is claiming to stand for social justice, but driving young teenagers to the point of suicide because maintaining a sense of ideological purity is seen as preferable to remembering that we all used to be ignorant on various issues and educating those who just didn’t know any better

berlin1991:

i really want to sit in a cafe with someone and have coffee while we both write or look at different things but touch each others hands every so often and then go back to sitting quietly but happy and comfortable because the other person is there

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whjat:

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO APPEAR ON MY DASHBOARD

bithedreadwolf:

I’ve never mentioned sense8 on here but I love it and can we please discuss how Capheus is an entire chorus of angels rolled into one human

earthdad:

don’t you dare “xD” me this is 2016

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agarjelly:

This morning be like..

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queerspeedy:

                                                        Let’s go home, everyone. 

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